shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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