so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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