do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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