It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize