Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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