Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
