Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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