Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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