Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
