zippers are such a cool invention
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Randomize
