It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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