Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
