First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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