she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
