I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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