I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
