it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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