she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
