Nicole vs. Life
i just had sex bonerless
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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