Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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