how can u be prego again
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
