You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I understand Curling. That high.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
