CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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