Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
