I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
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