Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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