We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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