I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
