Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
