Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
