the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
