$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
