lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I've blown a few things in my day
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
