Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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