He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
