we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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