I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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