THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
