It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
