the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
