honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She told me I should be a condom model.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
