I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
