why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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