I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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