I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
