Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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