I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
NoShamevember. You game?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
