Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
