I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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