he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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