Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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