oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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