Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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