My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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