Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
